I know this is mostly a running blog but I also like to chat about other things every once and awhile. Today, it's dating. I can clearly remember being in the bar, with my girlfriends, a few years ago and commenting on how thankful I was to be married. The thought of being single, and having to find a partner terrified me. Now, here I am, almost two years to the day since my marriage ended, and I'm single. And, I'm a few days away from turning 33.
After my marriage ended I jumped into a relationship way too quickly. He was a great guy but I was definitely not ready. It was the rebound relationship that everyone has after their marriage, or a long relationship, ends. So, I took a year and a half off from the dating scene and focused on finding myself again. What was I passionate about and what was important to me? I spent my free time with London, with friends, and a lot of time alone. Was it easy? Not always. There was the time my fridge started leaking and my dishwasher broke and I sat on the kitchen floor crying surrounded by water. Coming home to an empty house, when London is with his dad, can be difficult. I've had to learn to believe in myself. To know that I don't need someone to do things for me (everything from barbecuing to cutting grass and changing light-bulbs.) I've learned it's okay to be alone.
Once, I fell in love with myself again I realized I was ready to open my heart to someone else.
So, a couple months ago I decided to delve into the world of online dating. I swore, up and down, I would never do it but I did. My schedule is busy and, besides work, I don't meet a lot of people. I work out at an all-women's facility and my friends' are all married or in long term relationships. They're not always willing to go out and try and find me a love connection.
So, I narrowed it down to Match and Tinder. I had the most luck on Tinder. I've been on a few dates or matched with a few guys but learned, the hard way, not everyone has the best intentions.
The guy we call First Date was nice at first. To be honest, the first time meeting someone I'd met online was a little nerve-wracking. Thankfully, the guy made me feel really comfortable.We hit if off immediately and went over a handful (seven) of dates before he just stopped contacting me. That's apparently called Ghosting. Who knew!
Then, there was The Firefighter who proceeded to send me naked photos of himself within two days of talking. He was extremely proud of his body (and I won't lie, it was amazing) but I don't want to see your body before we've even had a face-to-face conversation. I caught him in a few lies and then he also ghosted me. My friends and I think he has a girlfriend or was cat-fishing me.
I also went on a date with an Oil Patch Worker who I was immediately attracted to. We ended up at the pub with a group of our friends one night and seemed to all hit it off. He was the guy who texts me every few days and talks about wanting to see me but would never make plans. One week, he didn't text so I considered myself ghosted. Sure enough, I saw him at the bar last weekend and he completely ignored me.
Then, there was The Widow. The Widow told me he was falling for me our second conversation. He lived in another province (we matched when he was here visiting) but said he was willing to do whatever it took to make it work. He also told me details about his wife that felt way too personal for not knowing each other.
We can't forget about The Biologist. He was one of my girlfriend's favourites. He was good looking, had a good family life, a great job and overall serious potential. We talked on the phone for a few hours, one night, and then he just disappeared. Yep, ghosted again. I'm sure that's probably for the best as he kept asking me when I wanted more kids as he really wanted to be a dad ASAP.
So, that's where I am now. Not completely giving up on love but definitely a little more cautious of who I open my heart too. I think dating again has overall been a good experience but I've learned a lot about myself and what I'm looking for.
Ideally, I would love to date someone I meet, or know, in real life.
Online dating just isn't for me.
I am a hopeless romantic. I'm optimistic it'll happen for me again.
Hi, I'm Kaella, a single mom, reporter and avid runner. I love sharing my workouts, race-recaps, and experiences in group fitness class, with you. I also talk about my four-year-old son London a lot. I'm slightly obsessed with NYC, Starbucks and 5 Cent Candies.