Wednesday, August 31, 2016

My Online Dating Experience

I know this is mostly a running blog but I also like to chat about other things every once and awhile. Today, it's dating. I can clearly remember being in the bar, with my girlfriends, a few years ago and commenting on how thankful I was to be married. The thought of being single, and having to find a partner terrified me. Now, here I am, almost two years to the day since my marriage ended, and I'm single. And, I'm a few days away from turning 33.
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After my marriage ended I jumped into a relationship way too quickly. He was a great guy but I was definitely not ready. It was the rebound relationship that everyone has after their marriage, or a long relationship, ends. So, I took a year and a half off from the dating scene and focused on finding myself again. What was I passionate about and what was important to me? I spent my free time with London, with friends, and a lot of time alone. Was it easy? Not always. There was the time my fridge started leaking and my dishwasher broke and I sat on the kitchen floor crying surrounded by water. Coming home to an empty house, when London is with his dad, can be difficult. I've had to learn to believe in myself. To know that I don't need someone to do things for me (everything from barbecuing to cutting grass and changing light-bulbs.) I've learned it's okay to be alone.
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Once, I fell in love with myself again I realized I was ready to open my heart to someone else.
So, a couple months ago I decided to delve into the world of online dating. I swore, up and down, I would never do it but I did. My schedule is busy and, besides work, I don't meet a lot of people. I work out at an all-women's facility and my friends' are all married or in long term relationships. They're not always willing to go out and try and find me a love connection.
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So, I narrowed it down to Match and Tinder. I had the most luck on Tinder. I've been on a few dates or matched with a few guys but learned, the hard way, not everyone has the best intentions. 
The guy we call First Date was nice at first. To be honest, the first time meeting someone I'd met online was a little nerve-wracking. Thankfully, the guy made me feel really comfortable.We hit if off immediately and went over a handful (seven) of dates before he just stopped contacting me. That's apparently called Ghosting. Who knew!
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Then, there was The Firefighter who proceeded to send me naked photos of himself within two days of talking. He was extremely proud of his body (and I won't lie, it was amazing) but I don't want to see your body before we've even had a face-to-face conversation. I caught him in a few lies and then he also ghosted me. My friends and I think he has a girlfriend or was cat-fishing me.
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I also went on a date with an Oil Patch Worker who I was immediately attracted to. We ended up at the pub with a group of our friends one night and seemed to all hit it off. He was the guy who texts me every few days and talks about wanting to see me but would never make plans. One week, he didn't text so I considered myself ghosted. Sure enough, I saw him at the bar last weekend and he completely ignored me.
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Then, there was The Widow. The Widow told me he was falling for me our second conversation. He lived in another province (we matched when he was here visiting) but said he was willing to do whatever it took to make it work. He also told me details about his wife that felt way too personal for not knowing each other.
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We can't forget about The Biologist. He was one of my girlfriend's favourites. He was good looking, had a good family life, a great job and overall serious potential. We talked on the phone for a few hours, one night, and then he just disappeared. Yep, ghosted again. I'm sure that's probably for the best as he kept asking me when I wanted more kids as he really wanted to be a dad ASAP. 
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I also went on a date when I was home, a couple weeks ago, with The Pharmacist. He was awesome but neither of us could move, any time soon, and I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. 

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So, that's where I am now. Not completely giving up on love but definitely a little more cautious of who I open my heart too. I think dating again has overall been a good experience but I've learned a lot about myself and what I'm looking for.
Ideally, I would love to date someone I meet, or know, in real life.
  Online dating just isn't for me.
I am a hopeless romantic. I'm optimistic it'll happen for me again. 
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If you're in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other?
If you're single, have you tried online dating?

3 comments:

  1. Just read your blog! It was so cute! After I escaped my ex(baby daddy) 3 years ago I swore off men entirely, it was after a year of being single (finding myself etc) that I decided to date again, I met every date organically, they were all nice but I just wasn't attracted to any of them. So I took another 8months off. Met a few men in between, had a one night stand which was hilarious! We can PM if you want to know, lol! Then once my Bff became single I decided to get back into dating. It's hard when you have kids, like you already know. I tried tinder for a good week before it just go so boring, and I realized everyone on there is on there for a reason, cause they are a bunch of weirdos! Lol however the odd person is closer to normal than the others. I went on 1 tinder date, the guy was really nice, he dressed up, drove from Edmonton to Red Deer to take me out... He brought me 18 roses, cooked a shepherds pie (it tasted really good too, he cooked**, keep in mind I had 911 on dial just in case he tried to poison me)... Anyway he was an engineer, former Navy Seal and had served in Afghanistan, had a vehicle, his own place. All the good things, was quite cute too. Really good kisser. Our date was awesome! We hit it off, he paid for everything and we chatted afterwards and made plans for a second date.... Then 3 days after first meeting that guy, I went into a dealership with my girlfriend to help her buy a car... That's where I met Grant, my now boyfriend and future husband (we've already had that talk, and there just certain a things this guy does where you "just know"). He was soooo handsome and tall, with these crystal blue eyes. I was like WOAH! Me being really forward, instantly was on the prowl, saying things out loud like "that guy is hot", just loud enough for everyone in the entire room to hear. Later on during our visit, Grant introduced himself to me, gave me his business card and asked me out for dinner. Our first date was spectacular, he turned out to be the most kind, gentle, and creative man I've ever met. Our chemistry was and still is phenomenal. (May have also got drunk on our first date - he stayed sober - and I made him take me home) lol! I was going to just kinda bang and run, but he wanted to take me out again, and again and again. Turns out he was really well known in Red Deer because of him being a morning show host for a big radio station in the city. He took me everywhere 'cause he knows everyone. Within two weeks of becoming official I introduced him to my daughters and he's been so amazing with them. Things have really grown together. (My daughters don't have a father otherwise, I don't know what happened to the guy) Recently Grant got a gig out on Vancouver Island for radio, and is hosting out there (which I told him he had to because of the opportunity), so we are now after 7 months at a long distance status. It's been interesting, but I am so busy with my company and kids etc, I'll be flying out again in a few weeks to visit him. We talk every day and phone call or FaceTime, with my job I get to live stream his show while I'm on a project site, so I can listen. He sometimes tells weird stories about me on his show, or he'll text me and ask what he should say on air next, and I'll make up a silly line which he then must figure out how to mix into things. It's hilarious, our own fun way of flirting I guess. The plan is for him to stay there, become more established, and in a year I'll move out. Since my job is mobile I can pick it up and move it anywhere I want (I'm sure you know I'm in the trades). Anyway, that's my story. Pretty long. Trust me girl you'll find him where you least expect it, and in an organic setting, the second I didn't expect it I met the right one. He treats my daughters and I like gold. It's pretty special. Thanks! TheKarmaRunner

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  2. Sorry for the novel!! Enjoy!! Haha

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  3. You seem like a wonderful lady, what happened with your marriage if you don't mind me asking.

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