Tuesday, September 23, 2014

They Say Time Heals

I'm still processing our decision to separate and that means a lot of emotional highs and lows. One moment I'll be fine and the next I'll find myself bursting into tears for no reason, unable to stop crying.

I'm mourning the loss of a relationship I had never planned to have end. I'm mourning the loss of what I thought my future would look like.

At the same time, I'm finding comfort in family and friends who have my back and support me every step of the way.

It also helps that I know my heart will heal eventually.


It seems like I'm stuck in a storm right now. As people find out irl (in real life) the question is always "what happened?" I find most people want a dramatic story so they can pass it on to the next person. Like I said before, that's something I won't be talking about, here or anywhere else, as it's really only between Jarod and I. Of course, my family and best friends know, but even then, that's an edited version of the story.

I'm hopeful the storm will pass and people will find a new focus.

"Even the most damaged heart can be mended."

I've also been thinking about my future a lot lately. What it'll mean for London and I. There are a lot of unknowns right now but I think the future looks bright. I'm confident Jarod and I are going to be able to work together, stay friends, and continue to raise our beautiful baby boy as a great team.


I want to be happy, loved, made to smile every day and have the confidence, and support, to follow my dreams.

They say time heals and I believe that to be true. I don't know how much time it'll take but I know I'm moving in the right direction.





6 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you have such hard moments but I think that is all part of the healing. I know you are one strong mama and London is so lucky to have you. Hang in there Kaella. I can only get easier and better right!?

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  2. Oh, I'm so so sorry to read this. Nearly two years ago I separated and even when it's the best decisions, it still completely sucks donkey balls (and that's the eloquent phrasing). Big internet hugs to you.

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  3. I can only imagine the roller coaster of feelings you are going through right now. Time will heal and you will probably be a better person for it.

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  4. Things will get easier as you carve out the new normal. I still have feelings of sadness over my life not working out how I had planned, but I always remind myself that I was gifted an amazing little boy and still have the rest of my life ahead of me.

    Love you <3

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  5. I love that that you're FEELING your feelings and acknowledging this phase is temporary. I can relate to the sense of mourning. I still feel that way, sometimes. It's a weird transition phase, because who you WERE is dying & you're stepping into something entirely new and different.

    xoxo

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  6. You're absolutely right--time DOES heal. I was in your shoes a few years ago. And I've gotta hand it to you... you're dealing with your feelings a LOT better than I did! I could write a book on the least healthy way to divorce. lol

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